Super simple steps for decluttering your home
Per Lady of Perpetual Chaos‘ request in a comment on “I’m still MIA due to The Great Declutter,” here are my super easy-to-follow steps for decluttering your home. I may have left out a step or two, but this will serve as a pretty good guide to get you through the process. Good luck!
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Emily’s Super Simple Steps for Decluttering Your Home
Step 1
Pick up a Route 44 Diet Coke with vanilla and extra pebble ice from Sonic Drive-In. Or in @LadyofPC‘s case, a Mountain Dew.
Step 2
Stock up on peanut butter M&Ms. If you can bake and freeze cookies ahead of time, that’s great too.
Step 3
Start at the top of your house and work your way down. Try to ignore your family, dinner, carpool and any other obligations but fail to do so.
Step 4
Wonder why in the hell you thought this would be a good idea.
Step 5
Eat lots of peanut butter M&Ms and frozen cookies.
Step 6
Park both cars in the driveway because your crap has taken over the inside of the garage.
Step 7
Repeat steps 1, 4 and 5.
Step 8
Take three weeks to do what you thought would take one week.
Step 9
Bribe your sister to help you with your ginormous garage sale. Take her to lunch as a thank-you.*
Step 10
Repeat steps 1, 4 and 5.
Step 11
Host your garage sale and hope beyond hope you sell enough to cover the new bedding you just bought for all four kids. Repeat steps 1, 4 and 5. Twice.
Step 12
Look at your eBay piles and wonder why you didn’t sell those items in the garage sale.
Step 13
Repeat steps 1, 2, 4 and 5.
Step 14
List your items on eBay and hope beyond hope you sell enough to cover the celebratory shopping spree you’re going to take when it’s all over.
Step 15
Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Use your Groupon for a 90-minute massage and the proceeds from your eBay listings to tip your massage therapist.
Step 16
Do not repeat any of these steps for at least two years…except for steps 1 and 5. Repeat those any time and as often as you’d like.
* I would take your sister to lunch after the garage sale. Once she sees your piles of crap in the garage, she’ll want to turn and run. Turning and running equals no thank-you lunch!
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You can read more about the inspiration for this site 
I’m going to eat some Peanut Butter Oreos for breakfast.
Kristina P.´s deep thought ~ For When the Word "Testicles" Just Won’t Do
[Reply]
Emily Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 10:37 am
Wait, WHAT?!?! What is this about peanut butter Oreos? They actually exist?
[Reply]
Awesome! This was just the help I needed. And thank you for remembering my love of Mountain Dew. You are a true friend. ;o)
How about after all the fun you’re having we go out to lunch for some Great Declutter PTSD therapy. And more tips. ;o)
Lady of Perpetual Chaos´s deep thought ~ Do Nice Guys FInish Last?
[Reply]
Emily Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 10:38 am
You’re on! Haven’t been to Chick-fil-A in ages…how does that sound?
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Oh my heavens. I love it! I have been “planning” a yard sale for years…piling stuff in the unfinished basement. I must follow your steps. Maybe it will actually make it to the front yard! Although I really should go through all of my rooms like you have…see why it never gets done.
[Reply]
Emily Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I totally see why it never gets done. I was crazy to try and do it but once it’s over, I’ll be so happy. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
Emily´s deep thought ~ Super simple steps for decluttering your home
[Reply]
I think I will just skip to step 15, thank you very much.
Charlotte´s deep thought ~ And speaking of laundry…
[Reply]
Emily Reply:
October 3rd, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Truly that is the better plan.
Emily´s deep thought ~ Mad Libs Monday: “New Year’s Resolutions” by Caroline from Smarty Pants Mama
[Reply]
you brave woman you
vanessa´s deep thought ~ Baby Doll Turns 4
[Reply]
Emily Reply:
October 4th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
I think it’s more crazy than brave. Stop me before I start next time, will you?
Emily´s deep thought ~ Let the countdown–& card shopping–begin! {GIVEAWAY}
[Reply]